Franklin Ave (read this at my open mic)

Franklin Ave
9/2/08

I passed by her on the 3 train
At first glance she appeared the same
Beautiful
Hair lays in place just partially caressing her face
Impossible to chase yet irresistible to not follow
I look up; take a swallow
Rise from my seat and begin speak
“hey, remember me?”
her facial expression told me unlikely
the moment seemed surreal
my emotions felt puerile yet I refused to yield.
She smiled and questioned about where I was destined
The conversation lessened because the doors moved in attracting directions
Trying to sever a spark where two hearts had soul aligned
Briefly defined as fate
The train rushed down the line as I kept speaking my mind
I yearn to interrelate
My ability to appreciate small meetings and simple interactions
She smiles and laughs when
I tell her an old joke
She told me back then
She thought I was consumed with hope
An idealist, encompassed with optimism
She read me saying no cynicism marked me
So you do remember?
“Yeah,” she commented “You kept it together
The brother that trudged through the stormy weather”
Intriguing further thought, I inquired about seeing her next week
Offering to get ice cream and take walk down the street
It’d be unique, the delight we’d partake
Unable to demonstrate, she has a hard time hearing
The train was so far down the tracks she couldn’t even see the 3 clearly
Sounds resonated through the tunnels, occluding my vocal chords peaks
The only echoes she hears are from 2, W and Z

Pill to extinguish love

"I wish I could take a pill and relinquish this pain, forget I was ever in love."
"Why would you want to do that, it's hard enough to find love in the first place?"

It was something to that effect, but the quote was deep and touching. Came from a scene in The Women. It's true though, it's hard enough to find someone to share love with, whether you have to endure through the pain or the pleasure, cherish the moments you share the feeling of love. I wouldn't take that pill either, maybe a pill to forget some people and moments I passed through.

What do you know

In every occupation I have peeked interest within, I have had the same response (which used to deter my inquiry): "You don't want to do this." "You don't want to work here." "You don't want to teach here." Or "You could do much better elsewhere." As if they sat on my right shoulder and became a doubtful conscience of employment. So according to them I don't want to teach in Baltimore, work on a professional race team, work in a race shop, become a State's Attorney, Police in Baltimore, work in D.C. or become a snowmaker at a slope (even though it would have paid off on the mountain.) I know this is typical America to hate their job and loathe there life but where is the happiness when are we allowed to work and be pleased to do it versus count the days to retire?? Just like anything else (marriage, love, hobbies and friendships) things can and will always be rocky, that's inevitable, but for once can someone embrace my interest and tell me why I'd fit in versus why I would run?

Dear Father

I am literally a starving artist
shit I'm a starving human. I don't have to be artistically inclined, intellectually inclined, or financially declined denied. It seems institutionally designed for me to be behind. Can someone remind me about the American Dream, yeah it was implemented to make people reach and for 85% of the population to see others success. I'm a testimony of struggle. While the media, (radio, internet, Tv, magazines) show so much light in such a dark path that highschool nor college prepares us for. Bill to Bill I connect them like webs and swing from check to bill like tarzan, UAAAHAHHHHHAiiiieeeeeAHHAHHHHH... man when will this misery,...this this subtle unhappiness subside.

Being in 1st 2nd 3rd is looking like the best occupation. Most the kids just look concerned on whether they will reach recess ...not success. Live life at five feet in front of you. Must be nice. I digress and back to suppress this shit.

A second to breathe

It's not that I'm neglecting you (blog) it's just that I have 1) been a little busy





and 2) I just don't know what to say.

Watch the Academy Awards tonight, watch Slumdog Millionaire cleanup...and it should that and Benjamin Button were movies that set high bars to beat. We'll see, tomorrow when I look up the results!

**Supermodel on the set!!!**

what day is it man?

wish me luck for Sunday you guys

You so ugly, I flushed you last night

Ugly is in. That's what I'm hearing, that's what I'm seeing. The ugliest cat on a stroll is the one with the baddest woman on his arm. Not light skin, not dark completion (the best of course) but just straight scutterbucket. The roles can be swapped too! Hot ass girl with this ugly carp man or a unattractive (turd) woman with a handsome fellow. This is the millennium baby! Too lazy to talk so we text, to lazy to court so we facebook, myspace, tag, eharmonize a mothaf&@#$%. Oh well, so yeah it is what it is, my time is on the chopping block and the cycle will have to revert to light skin then to me again, by then i should be approx. 43 years old. Whew, and I thought i'd have to wait forever

Th3rd World

Lately it seems that my dreams feel more real than "dreamlike." As if messages have been sent via subconscious for me to decipher and understand. I don't have time to decode nor interpret what it is I'm supposed to comprehend. In fact, based on the dreams even if I was able to understand, I sure as hell wouldn't want to because they have been quite stygian. My sleep will spontaneously end and I become apart of a world that has no mercy for the message. Sometimes I have been fearful to return back to sleep, just so I don;t have to endure what I have been asked to accomplish in my dreams.

No ass Freddie Kruger is not invading my brain... he's a dick. I'm talking about saving children, distorting lives, life threatening decisions that seem OH SO REAL. Do I construct some kind of solution, or remedy for such things? Or just evolve to hate sleep as much as I hate living in reality?

talkin to myself

*sigh*

matter of fact *gasp*

inhale

exhale

deep breath

keep peace of mind

maintain peace of mind

stay positive

look forward

(im sofuckinglost)

stand strong

think positive

(this shit dont work)

just keep writing

become a success

(im scrounging around)

whatever this shit isn't that easy

My song for today.

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

Happy (f#$@ your) Valentine's Day

Ahh yes the commercial, capitalism, made up, fake-me-out, hall mark holiday! Oh am I saying this because I don't have a valentine? Not at all. Contrary to what love ideals I possess, I choose to not succumb to a holiday that encourages my finances to diminish just because someone said so. Plus my Valentines Day track record is not very good, everyone I've been involved in had me spending a significant amount of money and receiving little to nothing in return (not even a smile). So sucks to the holiday that requires roses to make her cheeks rosie-red. Disastrous. Yes, just thinking about the years prior makes me cringe. Breaking my piggy bank this year will not be done, I promised mom I wouldn't do it unless I had a significant girlfriend,( and well the line is empty). I will probably remain indoors so I don't have the collage of couples cascading down the promenade in my sight. 

Literary Love

COME

  COME 

     COME

         COME

February 13th ( Tomorrow) 20 minutes from today.

Poetry Night...

Open Mic

Literary Love

7pm... DO NOT MISS IT!

Diary entry #44 - age 26 - James

Strangely today I have thought about roller blading, dancing, sleeping and sending a postcard to my Aunt Angie. To you this may mean nothing, but to me there is a peculiar taste in the air. My mind can not coincide with logic and therefore my heart reforms. I remember at a young age, being turned on by my 2nd grade teachers free flowing blouse. Growing up I would masturbate to Victoria's Secret Catalog (and I own a free of the Valentines Day collections). Now I find sexual gratification as entertaining as PBS spotlights. I often blow my nose in the same tissue I released in thirty minutes prior, not at all comforting.

Suddenly I realized why today has been a day of days. It is my birthday, so instead of 26 I should write the entry at 27, making this year number 3 without a woman to say I love you, and year number 4 that I reside at this self loathing occupation. The highlight of my year was my colleagues menstruation. So happy birthday to me.

story changes every 10 minutes

And of course my blog was written 2 days prior to the new news...so deal with it! lol

fight, argument, crash, punch, bite, cheating, talking, screaming...all of it is drama nonetheless. Oh well.

Mom: "Yeah the girl must have been trippin because Chris seems laid back." LOL "Rhianna is Caribbean, yeah she's firey."

I was going to wait. Yes I was going to sit on this until further clarification, maybe a statement, (hah arrest) but without further ado... Chris Brown showed his pimp hand didn't he? After a night of wine, a smoke of a black and a long day of threatening to call children's mothers ( I wouldn't because then I'd get chewed out), I talked with ma and out collaborative assumption is...

Rhianna must be a pain in the ass! I mean she must have been nagging and nagging, pestering and pushing buttons to the point where Chris said "(expletive) if you don't stop." Oh and what did she probably do... she continued (er... mistake number 1 and probably the first and final straw) Well of course they wouldn't show up the Grammy's. Dior glasses couldn't hide the shiner he probably left on her face. She probably said "shut up and drive" and he laid it across (not saying that it was right) but you know everyone has a limit.

But first what's with all this "friend" shit. "I'm definitely single." He claimed. "We're best, Best Friends." Rhianna explained. Yeah yeah. Well we all know what it is, what it was and we all know 18 year olds (20 year olds, 22 year olds) can't handle a damn relationship anyways.

I digress.
**let me tell you, I feel ashamed for writing about this... this is pop, and mainstream culture... oh the hell well**

“Rihanna was trying to get her point across about something, she sounded like she was crying as she tried to get… her point across.”

See. Argument that escalates...this fool (Christopher) just decided to close his hands, cock back, and thrust forward a blow to the lady (alleged Rhianna). But he bit her? wait.
Really?
Teeth though? He really is 18 isn't he?

Anyways she must've said some foul shit for him to stop the car and Ike her ass. But wait, it wasn't so much Ike because he LEFT... he fled and left her chillin. Wow. Okay I'm sorry too much for the evening.

who cares (inspired)

I take things lightly so some call me dark

I joke when I take things seriously

I'm always rushing so I can take my time

I have a hard time taking the easy way

I don't tell anyone I'm outspoken

I'm a complacent rebel

I'm such a smiling depressant 

I'm an obese Th3rd world subject

blind visionary

An impatient monk

A self sufficient dependent craving attention yet I'm shy

How I operate

You f&*$ me, then you become dead to me. This doesn't really go out to anyone in particular (since people take these blogs very personal) but just a general thought I stumbled upon while I was painting my basement today.

I truly value friendships and will instinctively "ride til I die" for anyone of my friends. I just hate being crossed, deceived, lied to, bamboolzed, whatever it may be I don't like it. Certain friends have called this aspect about my personality out, saying that I kill the thought of the person, even for a miniscule act. Well I am pretty easy going ( I think), I let some things build up (which I shouldn't), but if I'm upset about someone or something it's usually for a reason. The act could be minute but the character flaw could have been gigantic. Anyways, my best resolution is burn every last contact, email, photo and thought of that person out of my life. I function better. Don't you? Why have the lingering effect? But hey, that's just me.

the pretender

I feel as if I'm pretending. As if I'm leading this lie, where I'm busy, but busy doing absolutely nothing. I write, and I do write, I read, hand out, I love to help, yet as I look at the total effect. I feel like I've been sitting idle in a world moving at light speed. In this world driven by greed, malice, anger, jealousy and corrupt souls... I feel the bit of good I want to do has yet to begin. Where is the jumpstart on life? Why is this aimless sorrow massaging my soul? Why do I feel like I have no control? 

when it come's down

"People with profound insights on life know not to get married."

Think that's true? 

I don't I'd be able to deliver a qualitative response until I "suffer" the actual episode of "I do's" and death doing me part. My profound insight on life think that marriage is one of the keys to achieving wholeness and a placement of spiritual happiness. Anyways that's just my take.

just quick thinking, quick jotting, no plotting just writing

Ima poetry writin' fiend

I bring hot verses that come clean

put together without a seam

and although it may seem pre-thought

there is no dream or forethought

my psyche's team gives onslaughts 

Barack Speaks on his threats

Obama Reacts To Death Threat - For more of the funniest videos, click here

So that's what he said.

But what Mr. President Obama really  wanted to say was:

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??? And you must be out of your mind because you OBVIOUSLY have no clue who you're messing with!

I'm the President of the United States!! I can have people killed for less. Yet I won't stoop down to your enervated mind (if you don't know what enervated means it means feeble, (( if you don't know what feeble means it means dimwitted))) How dare you insult me, my security and this nation by the minute representation you have! I'm not even trying to infringe on anyone's rights rather bring prosperity back to the US and you dare to take that away from the people! *calm down calm down* 

sike nah that's not what he wanted to say, its what I would've said.

Groundhogs Day Thought

Groundhogs Day is the DUMBEST holiday created

who ever made i was probably drunk the evening prior to its conception

Who would desire to think about an uncommon animal and his decision to look (or not ) at his shadow?

And why would we think to see if he cares at his shadow?

I didn't look at mine so maybe it will be warm this Friday

He didn't see his own so it will snow until May

Amazing

Superstitious 

We pray on his decision like we're religious

It's marked on calendar and advertised nationwide

The poor lil' fella can not hide

what if the chosen hog was shy 

    or self conscious

He wouldn't want this

To have the one day spotlight of fame

While hogs nationwide praise his name 

If I were the guy I wouldn't appear until tomorrow

Scaring silly Americans and inciting sorrow

Or I'd come out with strobe lights, smoke, and theme music

galloping to an erect position 

playing with people's superstition or fears

Only they wouldn't determine what I was able to see, things wouldn't be so clear

I'd be donned with shades

Ray Bans so they cannot tell whether I viewed my shadow which fell 45 degrees to my north

I'd play this day up for all it's worth.

NOTHING

Feb 3, dang its feb. 3 already??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

   Cassandra Rose!!!

Love,

Your Best Friend

Ooooooohhhhh

Why does America LOVE their "Real Tv" and the likes of it? Point blank gunshots, T-bone car accidents, high speed chases, motorcycle accidents... I mean we LOVE this shit. To see a person on the brink of death, or evading authority is so attractive to the citizens of our beloved country. The fact that a man is being mauled by 4 tigers at once is entertainment. Yes I want to feed on your fears says The Man.

25 Things...

How many people have to go through this (vacuous and rather obnoxious) ritual!? 25 things people don't care to know about you 25 things people may not want to know about 25 things you carefully wrote that people couldn't careless about. AMAZING...one that we login to facebook 800 times day to check meaningless affairs dealing with ex girlfriends (that we loathe yet love), who defiled your wall with a video of their favorite dancers and infamous app inviter that asks you to place another incoherent device on your page to rectify your cool. UGH this is blasphemous, 25 I don't give a fucks written by hundreds of people who want to be recognized and individualized (you're not fooling anyone sweetheart, you're not special!). Anyways, so what if I care. I could have almost reasoned 25 items that the 25 list is stupid, but who's hypocritical shit would I be treading in?