Never have I been placed in a more discouraging demeanor than I am now. My present despondency derives from the drought of employment juices that flow through my veins. I loathe remaining indoors, I despise being unproductive, and yes writing and searching for jobs is one aspect I stimulate my spirit with. At the same time, this pattern of looking for employment is a occupation within itself. I almost drive myself mad concerned with what will contain the key to my successful future. Finally, I have fast-forwarded past the usual "I wish I were young" phrase, because dwelling on that is pointless.
I know I know...in due time... be patient, remain with your eyes open, pray. Don't people tell me the same shit about finding someone? Well, patience may be a virtue, but it's also an annoyance. Sick of complacency and I'm tired of trying to decide my future, I wish it would thrust its ugly face in my presence and tell my broken soul to hop on the horse and ride down the fiery path of destiny. As emo and dark that sounds, fuck off... you have left me alone with my dog and my thoughts, what else am I to do? waste away at self reflection, I'm tired of thinking about myself...and I'm tired of writing about it.
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