Diary entry #405 - age 19 - Jaclyn

"I wish he still looked at me the same. No matter how much I seem to love him, he allows his pain to hurt me. I could never understand how his hard blows could result in him telling me 'I love you so much.' People look at me and compliment the beautiful girl, cherishing my physical appearance, but I feel so ugly inside. I feel ugly outside. If you looked at my arms, or lifted my shirt, the bruises camouflage what beauty you see. I never will be as good as he wants me to be, in fact I was never good enough for anyone. That's why mom left, that's why dad hit me. There's no single reason I should live."

"Except for her, she's not even four months and I see my life's traits happening all over for her to experience. I can't let her live like that. I want her to smile everyday in life."