I know it hurts

I've got to be one f*#%@d up person if my volatile temperament has the capacity to mutate a once sweet and kind hearted person to someone who can hold the cold reigns of my persona. It should be illegal to transfer vices, and loathsome thoughts, yet it crosses the threshold on a plate grease up with olive oil. I am trying to find the please in my voice, or at least in the blue sky, and maybe the chemical imbalance will bring me back to happiness. It seems I'm getting it together in a mindstate that keeps saying "you got it." I do love her, and her love is strong, or else I wouldn't have made it this long, but she won't always "love me no matter what."