Thanks for the warning

Good luck.

That's all I heard in a silent room, full of staring furniture wishing me goodbye with their decaying smiles. It''s unfortunate that as I enter this new realm of living, living sanely that is, there was no surgeon generals warning, no prescribed method, no wiki answers. Just good luck. As if luck had anything to do cohabitation, premarital bonding or just plain grown up stuff. The quandary of the circumstance benefits those who not really master this ordeal, but find a way to tolerate the unforeseen.

Rest assure, if there was some "guide" to getting to be with your future spouse it wouldn't be very good. Many would find it's traditional measures to be quite mindless considering how everyone's desires are different. I just find it quite amazing how living closer can somehow push people further away. Instead of phone conversations there are text, instead of dinners together there are dinners to go, sex...uh no porn. The acts seem to dwindle down to rooming with a friend versus living with a lover.

They say money doesn't bring you happiness but after how broke we've been I believe our morale is a bit low. It's time for a pep rally (vacation) or some sort of jump start (a night on the town.) Reluctantly I've turned to a bottle more so for salvation then sweet recreational drinking, feel as if I'm just a drew hundred sips before becoming "that guy" and diminishing my purpose of loving another person.

It's just so silent that the comfortableness has dissolved. Silence, which once was enjoyable, was reading time, writing time, thinking time, but now I think too much. Think about what she's thinking or if she's upset, or what did I do to tick her off. Shouldn't there be a "honeymoon" stage first? One with fucking up walls and headboards, laughter and silly spoofs that derrange our perception of one another just for a brief moment. I hear the rain fall so much I wonder if the clouds have more to say to me than anyone else. I used to talk to God, now I'm wondering he's taking this silence to talk back.